Friday, January 16, 2015

Ramming On

     And here it is the 16th day of 2015. I just thought that during my work-a-day life how I might have put 2014 on a form or document so early on in the year, or even now. But alas I caught myself & here she is the good ole number 15 added to the year 2000. Who would have thought that those of us born at the dawn of the nuclear age would still be going on & on about that topic. We're only human of course, & when we're certain about specific issues that pertain to sickening our planet we don't give up. We're sort of Charlton Heston-ish at an NRA convention, but with a totally different topic, yet they are still related. All I can say is the man may have been a great actor, but never a Moses. Never.
     2014 was an extremely heart wrenching & challenging time for our family. My husband's brother, my brother-in-law-friend, & wonderful uncle to his three nephews passed on 9/13/14 after a long & tragic illness. He was 68. My brother-in-law Rich was a quiet man. A man of nature who loved to camp & fish especially in the woodlands of Maine. His loyalty to the New York Yankees & Giants are now legendary in our family's history. He will be dearly missed. 
     My mother who is now 87 remains stable after 5 fractures over a period of three years. Along with the various other medical complications that are known to arise for individuals in their 80's it has been very challenging for her. No matter the years a family member may have worked in the medical field there is nothing that prepares them in witnessing a parent devolve. We learn it professionally in our caring of our patients, but when it's our own parent the emotional component takes it all to a personal level. My father's illness & eventual  passing in 1994 reinforced the lesson to live one's truth, & to do so with no regrets. To know that love never dies.
     Have decided to take my life back & get up stand up for my rights regarding when I'm with my own mother when she's having period's of true clarity, that when she insists on speaking to me in an unkindly manner [of which is her history] I now tell her what I would tell anyone, "When you talk to me do so in a kind manner, if not don't talk to me at all." As of yesterday that was my solution. It certainly made her think, & she was silent for quite awhile, & the tone of her conversation then made a shift. In families it's all very complicated. Dr. Martin Luther King of which his birthday was yesterday said, No one can take away your dignity. And that applies to people who love each other too. It's never too late to teach an other how they want to be treated. I just did, & my mother's going on 88. I'm no spring chicken either!
     My husband played Paul and Linda McCartney's RAM album this evening. Yes S* has successfully reconditioned a turntable of his brother Rich's. Tonight for the first time in decades I heard This is I Uncle Albert and I haven't done a bloody thing all day..  Thankfully I can say I've done lots yesterday & it was all just right. My stay with my mother at the hospital for her monthly treatment went well. The bonus of course was that an important issue was addressed. The past is the past, & when moving on in a new year it's best to take it head on like a ram. An ostrich will never do.


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