Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Peace, Love & Understanding*

Balance & Faith With Thoughts Of Beach Volleyball, Olympics 2008*

Balance & Faith With Thoughts Of Beach Volleyball

Faith is a personal time in our lives
and it takes courage to keep it alive.

Faith to not carry
a life of regret
Faith to live honest
our hardest quest yet

Faith to be gentle 
to others and self
Faith to know faith's worth
more than all wealth.

Faith to know horrors
we've lived from the past
Faith to know life is a 
most enriched plan

Faith takes us further
than rockets, or planes
Faith is a healer
that is our best gain.

Balance is stepping 
and feeling the ground
Balance is knowing 
and listening around

Balance is filtering
challenge of thought

Balance takes practice
in living what's taught.

Decades and decades 
I strive on this path

Decades and decades 
they zoom by me fast...

This is my journey
I take it with zest

I take it to learn more,
to answer my quest--

A veil that had covered our bodies at birth
often forgotten, 
now part of the earth

This veil protected and aided my life

I see it now clearly
amidst all the strife...

The sins of the parent, our mother's too
cannot always nurture
their striving young brew--

So people grow up
and at times feel undone,
yet figure it out
as best,  can,  be,  done.

The veil that protected
had covered full view
I see it more clearly
it answers a clue....

The question I ponder to answer this one,
How much of a life is owed to that one?

So pulling and grasping 
correcting my stand
it's balance of placement
a very tough hand--

So this is where faith will most guide me again
to know how to step past these mine fields,  Amen.

Friday, August 8, 2008

All In Good Time*

Here it is a Friday morning after a very powerful electrical storm, the thunder & lightning though very beautiful one had to be practical & we had to disconnect our Internet in hopes of preventing a hit to our system which occurred several weeks ago, & took some time to repair. So far so good, but today may also bring forth another powerful storm-- here in New England Mark Twain's forecast still holds true & thus we shall have to-- "wait a minute"or two....

Yesterday I finally began to tackle some of the weeds we've been overgrown with here in my Peace Gardens.   They are of course, never ending & because the ticks are so bad here & with the infestation of Lyme Disease one does have to be certain that they are garbed properly before any time in the garden.  Once one becomes splattered with mud it is never a pretty site, oh well onward I go... , yet I had to stop momentarily as a few lines of a poem entered my thoughts....seemingly new thoughts, but of course they are never just new thoughts, just thoughts that have finally become actualized in a way that they've become words.....


All In Good Time

Sometimes a friendship grows old
It is what it is

In time our children grow on
It is what it is

Each time a parent grows old
It is what it is

In time I settle my heart
It is what it is

Each time the old is the new
It is what it is

In time the who, the what, the where
learns why---

It is what it is.

Einstein was asked if he had the choice to live on forever without the emotional ups & downs as an immortal, or to live in the frame work of a mortal being knowing full well there is a definite end.  He said he would choose to live as he's known it to be as a human being with all the emotions that our human condition entails, for he was know to infer that it is our emotions that give our lives their individual color, texture & meaning.  How could one disagree-- we are who we are, with so much of it defined by our emotional take on the world, our individual lenses.  The important thing is what do we do with it...  Peace of course is the truest of all ideals, & in our Gardens of Life we must continue to not only plant seeds of hope, but to nurture the essence of those seeds--  our very souls.  


Alexander Solzhenitsyn passed on, this 3rd of August 2008, he was by far one of the greatest writers of the 20th century.  I read "One Day In The Life Of Ivan Denisovich", a small thin volume that held the day of a man's life in your hands.  I read this book some 30+ years ago on the recommendation of my father our family's "Renaissance Man".  Shortly after reading "One Day In The Life...", I read Solzhenitsyn's "Cancer Ward"  with it's poignantly intense story of  an ordinary man dealing with his treatment for cancer in the then Soviet Union.  That book altered my thinking forever. I would call it a-- "must read" for anyone who wants insite into the winning spirit of a human being. 

Alexander Solzhenitsyn--  "May You Rest In Peace".    

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

& When The Time Is Right*

August seems to be zooming by....  
Our youngest son helped to load up my '95 Volvo, with the help of one of his brothers & with his Dad, who has orchestrated numerous moves in the past-- to the present being yesterday's hot, humid one.  It was moving day!  He was ready for the change,  so there they went off to the big city from the country & all it entails for him & for us- his parents, as we view our ever changing nest. 

Getting Ready*

Monday, August 4, 2008

This Beautiful Morning*

Meditation, Buddha, Faith & Prayer*

I decided to reread some of my recent "Buddhist Thought For The Day" quotes.  For Friday August 1st this quote was on my homepage: "It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles.  Then victory is yours.  It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell."--Buddha

Aware yet unaware I was to that-- that thin thread connecting us all-- to all of humanity.  The previous entry I had made in this Blog took a bit of courage as self truth is often times the most difficult & challenging.  Rereading the above mentioned Buddhist's quote now made even more sense as that truly is what it's always been about for me for as long as I could ever remember. Peace does begin within & at times it is a lot of hard work, nothing could be worth more--nothing.


Friday, August 1, 2008

One Woman's Search For Her Truth*

I haven't blogged since mid May as I was relucent to share any of my inner most thoughts for some time--  So many reasons of course for as with anyone much of our inner lives are personal & profound due to our relationships with what some may term as our higher selves, I refer to this as my relationship with God.  I was raised in the Jewish faith & come from a long line of people who lived in Austria-Hungry, Russia, Poland, Spain & eventually the United States from where I was born & raised.  I'm a typical,  yet non typical baby boomer-- a lot of what I experienced growing up could be a chapter from Howard Fast's novel "The Outsider", an excellent short novel of his which pretty much touches on my parents situation after WW ll.  It must have been most challenging for them raising a young family first in the Bronx, NY & then in a small working class town outside of Hartford, Ct.  We moved quite a bit during those formative years of my childhood & I know it was most difficult for my mother a rather Billy Joel kind of-- "Up Town Girl", she was from Brooklyn & my father was from the Lower Eastside of NY, both very historic these home towns of my parents.  I have memories of one of my early address's--  Trinity Avenue the Bronx, NY, it was a good place to live, & as a little girl with my curly brown hair could have recited the line --"just right" in regards to my early life in the Bronx.  I attended PS27 for the first half of Kindergarten before moving to Connecticut-- right after this Constitution State's historic flood of the mid 1950's.  I can recall being shown the new dike which was within walking distance of the garden apartment complex in which we were living, it was a hugh grass covered embankment created to hold back the river in future flood times. All I knew then was that it was a major flood & the dike would  keep us safe which was good to know for we lived so close to the Connecticut River.  I've had many an address change since then-- New Britain, Ct.,  Skowkie, Il. & then back to East Hartford as per my father's job & my parents choice of housing local had us dotting about a bit on the map.  The good part was I learned to be adaptable as being the new girl in the neighborhood & classroom was of course challenging, but socially it all worked well.  Academics was a different story as it was then that my relationship with mathematics got jolted out of sequence.  I manage fine now in the numbers world, but to this day it's like a Ringo Starr song which makes me chuckle-- "It Don't Come Easy..." I do love Ringo what a talented spirit!      

On May 29th of this year I turned 59, true I've struggled in the numbers game since age 9 or so as I mentioned earlier, but not enough to make me oblivious to their importance.  This I feel has become my coming to terms year:  A lot of what I've been forced to come to terms with as I shared earlier is most personal, as why muddle the waters--- all I can say is that our childhoods do travel with us throughout our lives, like a river--  & everyone has something they are either working on to overcome, or to improve upon in their lives & their characters, our collective-- human condition. One of my long time favorite playwrights is Eugene O'Neil.  Some scenes from his play "Long Days Journey Into Night"  though as vividly wretched as some of those scenes are, they hit home in a way that not even Shakespeare touches upon for me.  Here I  am now, finally,--  learning to come to terms with my own mother's illness--  how it affected my childhood family-- my grown siblings & myself.  It does color one's world in a most interesting way.  All I can simply say is-- "Thank God for the arts & Thank God for God & all of God's Blessings*----

"Lot's Life"

Say these words..........
may I be blessed, 

Say these words is it a test---

Say these words my heart does heal

Say these words we do not kneel

Say these words we stand so tall

Say these words it strengthens all  

Say these words God transcends all

Say these words in "Days of Awe",

Say these words we need God's Ark

Say these words when paths seem dark,

Say these words & never fear

Say these words for God is near:
"God is great
 God is good"
treat each other as we should.

God does care when we do fall
Heals the sick & loves us all

God doth teaches-- 
use your heart
use your mind,
use your spark,

Use compassion
reject hate
embrace kindness
know one's fate

Know that lots are random picks
& are truly measured sticks,
know the sword is a stick too
made of metal-- a forged tool

Know we're granted wisdom, choice
yet the fool doth has their voice.

Listen deep, & listen hard
Listen to the great beyond....