Good Day Peace Garden "peeps", it's so nice to be back.~
Yesterday my husband & I traveled into the neck of the woods were our son's fam* lives. Our grandson was turning a decade yesterday & we wanted to be sure that we were there in person on his special day to celebrate once again his entry into the world. So without fanfare this Nana & Poppy took our grandson out in the afternoon for some old fashioned ice cream & a right-on hole in one miniature golf game. It was a lot of fun, & we really did enjoy our little threesome! That evening we joined the rest of our son's fam* consisting of him, our lovely daughter-in-law, 8 year old granddaughter, & the newly decade old birthday boy for an Aussie dinner at the Outback. The very same restaurant where the birthday boy's dad worked when he was attending college.
It was of course the first phase of birthday season for him, for next will come our grandson's friends party, & later on in September the big extended family party. My son Tyler & I were seated next to one another last night during dinner & he said, "You know mom, I've noticed there hasn't been a lot of activity on the blog lately." "That's true I replied", as I've had some very heavy serious issues that he of course has known all about. "The ongoing situation has been pretty much zapping a lot of my creative energy, plus I don't want to put anything out there that is negative, as it's been a very hard time." Tyler went on to sort of tweak me stating, "Oh you just want to share only the good things, & not be honest about sharing some of the negative things in your life.."
I thought of course what it was he said during dinner, as later that night I was on the phone with my dear friend Marge, & expressed to her some of what came from Tyler's & my conversation. She & I were in agreement of not wanting to put anything out there that could be deemed negative. Late this morning during one of our many power outages, I continued to think about all of this & decided that if I were to put pencil to paper once again, & perhaps write a poem that could honestly express what it is I've been feeling regarding a situation that has been ongoing now since the very end of 2011, then perhaps through this process I would be able to continue to make some sense as we human beings have a tendency to want to make sense out of the chaos of our own lives, that perhaps I would be able to be courageous enough to share what it is, that's brought me to this point. So here goes, it's a bit lengthy, but says what needs to be said, it is as honest & true as I know how to be, & really does speak for it's self.
After some in depth musings it's title took on it's own voice, & of which it titled it's self~
My Forest Speaks
We have been through this some-what before
of what it is, is what~
a thin existence of an act
a veil, a life, a that
you of a former grandeur time
gray crack upon your floor
such discontented roles we've played
yours glamorous and bold
and I made meek yet strong beneath
a hand that swung to hurt
they say the wiring's all been done
your system what a curse
now grows a tree from family times
uprooted and unhinged
it's untruths permeate the soil
yet toil is what we did
for I for you, and you for me
an illness grew so strong
magnificent in shapes and hues
and rages of your storms
you have it still, upheaval days
though less your impact stings
my love that you have given life
what great despair within
as generations follow since
the wounds are carried deep
I weep no more, I do weep some
as family sagas meet
upon the roads of varied turns
of this way and of that
it's fostered hurts divisions deep
so fragile in each crack
can't tell where it will lead us to
my path it leads towards hope
with prayerful thoughts forgiveness be
it is a mindful scope
can't say I'd choose this way again
if I had known the traps
but after all, when illness strikes it leaves a body flat
no matter what, I've no regrets
to do what's best for you
and will take care to live my life
respect the golden rule
my family has exceptions
our tree it suffered rot
from so far was abandonment
and violence from that lot
and now these times are grayer
some do, some don't, do care
but I will do my best for you
our hearts know will be there
will never be the victim
of powers you deemed great
and if some others copied you
that is a choice they make
instead I've chosen kindness straight
though times misunderstood
am only human, person one
your tree does still confuse
but that is of an illness of which not all can see
afflictions deep
at times roots weep
grow forth a life that's sweet.
~
Yes it's been a long time coming, the continuation from my forest of thoughts, but all in all no matter what an individual has experienced with each & every breath we do have choice, & today my choice was to write a poem, & to share.
And so completes today's ongoing process of living a life, & the ongoing project of~
Poetry A Muse In Motion.
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