The things that weigh heavily on my mind are as varied as the wind, depending on the direction & the overall weather of well being. When I say well being it includes of course family & friends. My friends all my life have been my lifeline, no matter where I lived or how many times we moved, God has included me with that special aspect/ blessing. Friends are my chosen family & I keep this delicate blessing seriously & very close to heart. I am as you can easily gather a sensitive person by nature, a poet as far back as age 9, & here it is so many decades later. Not much has changed on that. I do try each & every day to live my truth, with no masks & no regrets, a work in progress, I keep trying.
These past two seasons; spring into summer have been a true oxymoron of life-- a good friend's Dad, ill & battling a complicated illness, of which he passed on from. Several dear friends of mine facing various illnesses & or surgeries, & amidst all that the seemingly ordinary days with joys & miracles of life which presents itself, combined in all the creative chaos we live. I do ponder at times just how brilliant our creator is, to make a world seemingly so together, with workings as predictable as the sun rising each day with the phases of the moon & galaxies beyond. How could I not contemplate all of this, it still amazes me. My life too is an oxymoron, for when I look up at the sky, especially in the night, or when I stand at the top of a great mountain or gaze into the sea, my smallness is so obvious, yet I do & have always felt very connected to what I have been raised to call God, our creator. To me it has never mattered that different people have different faiths. What has always stood out in my mind is the sameness, the differences in our appearances & our thinking's have only made this small life far more interesting.
It is a very delicate balance living in the 21st century, yet this balance has always existed. If humankind needs a solution, the solution has always been with us, "swords into plowshares" & "do unto others". Last winter I saw a program on the life of Walt Whitman, the author of "Leaves of Grass", he was quoted repeatedly as saying that he needed to publish, [his now infamous book] in order to "Prevent the Civil War", we all know how little he was listened to back then. He also said that when he witnessed one man suffering, he too suffered. Not much has changed on that front either, as there are numerous hard working compassionate people dedicating their life work for the better good. There have always been scoundrels amongst our species, & one Wall Street villain is now in jail for 150+ years, for literally robbing people blind. Ultimately that kind of person will remain the minority, no matter how full our jails become, because human kindness is what human beings ultimately crave, that is our natural state. Kindness cannot be legislated, it needs to be taught by example, as it comes from the heart.
So I've made some of my decisions for this day anyway & I will try to stay on task, which can be a problem at times as I am prone to distraction. A dear friend, my coauthor & I completed our first children's book three years ago. We had selected a very talented illustrator who was very interested in working with us. The list of items she presented to get done came across this computer screen & the thought of any investment in a self publishing venture got way too intimidating especially with where our economy was heading, but ultimately I am determined to see this through, to have this book illustrated & in book form to share with the world, it is the dream of the 9 year old that lives inside of me. My first dream of what I wanted to be when I grew up was to be an author, the second was to be a nurse. The nurse part was readily fulfilled some 4o years ago, it's this author, poet, artist part of me that keeps me going, this possible dream of sharing creativity & healing in yet another way.
And with thoughts of embracing my dreams, I wish your dreams come true too. I wish you health & healing, & peace in body, mind & spirit.
*Amen*
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