Confessions Of A Sweet Tooth Addict Or What's In Your Pocket--

Do you remember your first encounter with candy? I can recall mine, as far back as preschool probably. The lollipops-- giant & small, the fluffy & pretty spun sugar of cotton candy, the button candy on the strips of very white paper with their colorful pretty dots, tootsie rolls, squirrel nuts, fire balls, jelly beans, bubble gum- bazooka & double bubble, just to name a few. & Wow I remember even more-- those very pretty, stick to your teeth juicy fruits, ju ju beads, gum drops, & we haven't even touched upon the family of candy bars-- hershey's with & without almonds, snickers, nestle crunch bars, & frozen three musketeers which I discovered when I worked behind the candy counter at our local movie theatre when I was a teen. Oh & even more of the paper packs of candy-- m&m's plain & peanut, good & plenty, boston baked beans, to name a few.

& here we are with the ultra candy season building, & just upon us. Do I ever slip, do I return to a crutch that is known to relieve my inner tensions, & takes me high like a cloud of cotton candy. What do you think? Have I ever stood a chance? Come on, diabetes runs rampart in my family-- my great grandmother, two grandmothers, my mother & two aunts. I do try though, but must admit, to gouging goring & slipping at times. Basically I too am an addict, where is my insurance covered admit to Betty Ford, or another known quality treatment program? Where's my, "Oh wow, she's been off the substance since-- , & you know she's been clean for such a long time..." accolade's.

So ultimately I do try, & try again. Last night I had a relapse in the early evening. I was at one of our local "everything" department stores. The first thing I did was put the 11. + ounces of mini peanut butter cups in my basket, plus a few other healthy items in my shopping cart. Went through the line, paid for everything & walked over to the in-store Starbucks. So there I sat, most pathetically, knocking off half a bag of these wonderful yet toxic peanut butter cups, that with a coffee, when at last I needed to stop. I again returned to my shopping & got a few other items. There I was standing in line for a second time, the young couple in front of me, in the other line were purchasing mini peanut butter cups. "Here take mine." I said to them, "They're already paid for. I have this problem with sweets, & I was about to throw them out.", I said, [as I was really disgusted with myself]. The young man's eyes lit up, & he thanked me & took them. & There again as I was departing from the store, he came up to me, insisted on taking my hand, "Thank you so very much.", he said, as he was all glee. I looked at him, my thoughts were solemn, & said, "Be good." He replied, "Oh you know how it is with us young people, you know how it is." It was, as if he was walking on air.

Oh yes, I certainly do know how it is for young people, for we do at times get ourselves "hooked" on the most deadly & toxic of substances, from as far back, or even earlier than our preschool years. So many addictions, some not even consciously chosen. I guess I too need a twelve step program. No Betty Ford available for me. "So help me God."