I've learned a very important lesson today regarding conflict. Even when one may try so desperately to do what another expects, of what they are conditioned, of so very deep within, if it's not something that is true to them, & the inner battle rages ever so strong, & on such a day as this, the very first day of the year 5770, then one finally, as to further not allow, for once, may tell themselves, "dyneau".
It's a very new feeling, this feeling of true self preservation. I know I, as all human beings have a strong sense of this, but on the emotional level the conditioning of decades ago, needed to be strongly changed. In no way was any of this easy, but if one is to choose despair & depletion over a conditioned sense of doing, for the sole purpose of a completing the other, for that "sole/soul" reason, that is now, no more. The pulling oneself up is a blessing & the not doing, is the doing.
My sense of relief of finally being able to choose a mode of self preservation & not being plagued to the depths, is truly a new years resolution that I can continue to work on & continue to develop. Through such turmoil I have been given an essential tool. Living one's truth is not intended to be the truth of others, yet it can at times be a universal truth. Love & time heals all, but in the process one must be certain proper elements are available & replenished. Time to heal means just that, all in good time. It's taken a lifetime.
*Amen*
{Dyneau, is word topic. It is from a popularly requested song of the Passover Hagadah meaning-- "that would be enough", in reference to God having brought forth the peoples of my heritage out of Egypt, & all the miracles that were performed in having been brought forth out of bondage.}
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