This Beautiful Morning*

Meditation, Buddha, Faith & Prayer*

I decided to reread some of my recent "Buddhist Thought For The Day" quotes.  For Friday August 1st this quote was on my homepage: "It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles.  Then victory is yours.  It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell."--Buddha

Aware yet unaware I was to that-- that thin thread connecting us all-- to all of humanity.  The previous entry I had made in this Blog took a bit of courage as self truth is often times the most difficult & challenging.  Rereading the above mentioned Buddhist's quote now made even more sense as that truly is what it's always been about for me for as long as I could ever remember. Peace does begin within & at times it is a lot of hard work, nothing could be worth more--nothing.

                          

My Grandson, Just One Of Many Reasons For Peace*

One Woman's Search For Her Truth*

I haven't blogged since mid May as I was relucent to share any of my inner most thoughts for some time--  So many reasons of course for as with anyone much of our inner lives are personal & profound due to our relationships with what some may term as our higher selves, I refer to this as my relationship with God.  I was raised in the Jewish faith & come from a long line of people who lived in Austria-Hungry, Russia, Poland, Spain & eventually the United States from where I was born & raised.  I'm a typical,  yet non typical baby boomer-- a lot of what I experienced growing up could be a chapter from Howard Fast's novel "The Outsider", an excellent short novel of his which pretty much touches on my parents situation after WW ll.  It must have been most challenging for them raising a young family first in the Bronx, NY & then in a small working class town outside of Hartford, Ct.  We moved quite a bit during those formative years of my childhood & I know it was most difficult for my mother a rather Billy Joel kind of-- "Up Town Girl", she was from Brooklyn & my father was from the Lower Eastside of NY, both very historic these home towns of my parents.  I have memories of one of my early address's--  Trinity Avenue the Bronx, NY, it was a good place to live, & as a little girl with my curly brown hair could have recited the line --"just right" in regards to my early life in the Bronx.  I attended PS27 for the first half of Kindergarten before moving to Connecticut-- right after this Constitution State's historic flood of the mid 1950's.  I can recall being shown the new dike which was within walking distance of the garden apartment complex in which we were living, it was a hugh grass covered embankment created to hold back the river in future flood times. All I knew then was that it was a major flood & the dike would  keep us safe which was good to know for we lived so close to the Connecticut River.  I've had many an address change since then-- New Britain, Ct.,  Skowkie, Il. & then back to East Hartford as per my father's job & my parents choice of housing local had us dotting about a bit on the map.  The good part was I learned to be adaptable as being the new girl in the neighborhood & classroom was of course challenging, but socially it all worked well.  Academics was a different story as it was then that my relationship with mathematics got jolted out of sequence.  I manage fine now in the numbers world, but to this day it's like a Ringo Starr song which makes me chuckle-- "It Don't Come Easy..." I do love Ringo what a talented spirit!      

On May 29th of this year I turned 59, true I've struggled in the numbers game since age 9 or so as I mentioned earlier, but not enough to make me oblivious to their importance.  This I feel has become my coming to terms year:  A lot of what I've been forced to come to terms with as I shared earlier is most personal, as why muddle the waters--- all I can say is that our childhoods do travel with us throughout our lives, like a river--  & everyone has something they are either working on to overcome, or to improve upon in their lives & their characters, our collective-- human condition. One of my long time favorite playwrights is Eugene O'Neil.  Some scenes from his play "Long Days Journey Into Night"  though as vividly wretched as some of those scenes are, they hit home in a way that not even Shakespeare touches upon for me.  Here I  am now, finally,--  learning to come to terms with my own mother's illness--  how it affected my childhood family-- my grown siblings & myself.  It does color one's world in a most interesting way.  All I can simply say is-- "Thank God for the arts & Thank God for God & all of God's Blessings*----

"Lot's Life"

Say these words..........

may I be blessed, 

Say these words is it a test---

Say these words my heart does heal

Say these words we do not kneel

Say these words we stand so tall

Say these words it strengthens all  

Say these words God transcends all

Say these words in "Days of Awe",

Say these words we need God's Ark

Say these words when paths seem dark,

Say these words & never fear

Say these words for God is near:

"God is great

 God is good"

treat each other as we should.

God does care when we do fall

Heals the sick & loves us all

God doth teaches-- 

use your heart

use your mind,

use your spark,

Use compassion

reject hate

embrace kindness

know one's fate

Know that lots are random picks

& are truly measured sticks,

know the sword is a stick too

made of metal-- a forged tool

Know we're granted wisdom, choice

yet the fool doth has their voice.

Listen deep, & listen hard

Listen to the great beyond....

          ***Amen***

The Answer To My Thoughts Have Been-- "Blowing In The Wind"

Yes, for sure, for sure-- it occurred just a few minutes ago--  I was standing by my window, gazing out, the same window that my children looked out on, the window that looks upon my garden with it's flowers & it's gentle views, & now for our grand children too-- truly one of my favorite perches here up on our slope.  The wind was blowing ever so rapidly, toss ling trees, gale forces at times, then of course abated just as rapidly--- these thoughts occurred & my questions were answered:

We, all of us, our species, all species-- creatures on earth, air & in water, all plants & living things past & present--  We are All part of a of a Higher Plan.  Not an original thought of course, for thoughts are never purely original.   I enjoyed the movement of watching those massive trees--  sway, dip, russle, tussle their branches & there it came--  a thought I didn't even know existed in my mind at that moment--- Yes we are part of a greater plan, those trees, they all have *roots, otherwise they would be crashing & falling quite rapidly.  It all in that moment came to me, call it evolution, call it science, call it whatever humankind chooses to call it, that is not the question-- what the wind told me in those brief seconds is something we've all intuitively known forever.  We are *all part of a plan that is ever greater than all the thinkers to ever be compiled.  We are & have always been part of the universe, including those galaxies-- far, far, away.  "Peace, Love & Understanding", is truly the key to continue-- we must never give up hope, for we can continue to-- heal the world.  & yes there are other worlds out there, our true test, is to see how we take care of this one--  A most delicate balance.   

*Amen*

* [russle is not a real word, but I chose to use it just the same]  Oye, now that's a word.

Mothers Day 2008*

Yesterday was Mothers Day of course.  I received greetings & all that goes with Mothers Day in relationship with my sons, & also acknowledging & honoring my own mother.  I recall one of my son's s interesting emails of last year, explaining how the origins of Mothers Day came about in a response to the U.S. Civil War, [note how I said U.S. , for the US- us hold no exclusively to war per say.  It kind of reminds me of a song from the 60's [of course, when else...] ,"Mother says there'll be days like this, there'll be days like this mother says...." So from a protesting response to war, we now have Mothers Day--- a very, very, fitting response, indeed, no need to explain....

Thirty-five years ago today I too joined the ranks of--  "Modern Day Mom", our eldest son was born one day before Mothers Day, he's now-- "Married With Children." & love it, I do, yes I do! It is just about the hardest job I can think of.  We had been married for several years & I was so the typical yuppie, before there were yuppies-- shopping, consuming keeping that commercial economy$ going & going....  & then the economics of it all changed.  We became a family of three, on one income, with far more expenses then when we were merely a family twosome. From the moment in the delivery room--- all natural, of course [nothing but the purest & best for our babinos] , to the preschool, grammar school, high school & college years.  It was the most challenging thing my husband & I ever did in our lives--- ultimately raising "Our Three Sons", & no matter any of the other pluses we may have experienced in our lives, I know speaking for not only myself, but my husband too--- nothing, nothing on this earth has ever given us the heartfelt satisfaction as raising our family has.  It's that boundless love & with that we've overcome much.

Yesterday our youngest son graduated from the University of Connecticut, it was a joy to have this landmark now as part of our family history--  & he's a History major!  The road was windy, yet he persevered & found his way-- "Was willing to do the hard work.",  as his grand father used to say.  The graduation ceremony had it's lovely points of course, & as far as family & friends go, for we were thrilled as others on the bleachers were to be celebrating in that special collective moment, in time. Yet on the other hand, I could not ignore what it was that seemed unjust-- for 4 admission tickets per graduate were issued yet not enough printed programs-- our highly esteemed state university preferred to spend it's money on events marking the inauguration of it's newest president Michel Hogan to the tune of $170,000. dollars.  I've never been much of a mathematical thinker, but I do know that UCONN has a Math Department.  It just doesn't seem balanced, as the state of Connecticut has numerous problems in our capital City of Hartford, in regards to it's educational system, along with other inner cities of our beloved state.  When I go into Htfd. it breaks my heart to know a lot more could be done to nurture these children, to help the families create a more fertile ground so their children can also become college graduates some day.  I guess UCONN is really one of those party universities we hear so much about & not always to the benefit of it's students.  What a message this university is giving out---  give $ give $ give, at the expense of the tax & tuition payers.    

I've been told repeatedly that Connecticut is one of the richest states in the U.S. , I wish we could lead in ways that would benefit the Children--- That's what Mothers Day is all about. Well I've sent a version of this opinion to the Hartford Courant, it will be interesting to see if they publish it.  I'll keep you posted.

We'll just keep on keeping on, & as mothers in this world--  continue to do our very best to shed light on these important issues of concern, & as we eventually enter our 60's we will continue to revive the principles of the 60's of-- "Peace, Love & Understanding".

 

This May Afternoon*

Lilacs bloom to their own tune,

it means that spring has not been ruined.

A war is raged against our will,

the cost is priceless, endless ills.

I think of You and how you serve,

of this our country's leaders herd--

their tunes of war they roll their drums,

yet Tolstoy's  "War and Peace", not done.

It takes a Village with a voice,

to ring out truth, explain the cost--

of weapons far and weapons near

the cost computes they do not hear.

My village is the globe, it's heart

I hear it's cry, I see it's spark

I know it's truth, I know not all

I only know that war is wrong.